If your anger was a bomb going off, lighting the fuse would be a trigger. People experience triggers to their emotions all of the time. However, in your everyday life you may not realize what these triggers are or the series of events that build up before the bomb goes off. This is a tip that will help you use the imagery of a bomb to better understand the triggers to your anger. Going through the following questions, make a list of your answers.
- What is the difference between the events that light the fuse and ones that are a dud?
- How long is the fuse?
- Is the bomb near a fire?
- Or does something act as a match?
- Are you allowing other people to carry the matches that light your fuse?
- How close are you to the matches? Once it is lit, how long until it blows up?
- Are alcohol, drugs, or prescription medication involved?
- Do you carry the bomb with you everywhere you go?
- Or does it appear at work?
- Social gatherings?
- Are you with many people or when you are with one other person?
- At home alone?
- What negative thoughts do you have that speed up the ticker?
- Have you been lacking sleep or sleeping too much?
- How is your diet?
- What stops the bomb by blowing out a lit fuse?
It is more beneficial to backtrack and observe your fuse having been lit once your bomb has been detonated. Imagine you are meeting up with your significant other driving to get lunch. Suddenly you catch yourself in a fight calling them names and screaming curse words at each other. You feel so angry that things could get physical. This is your bomb is going off. Now, back track to think about when and where you picked up the bomb in the first place.
- Do you keep it in your car?
- Did you put your significant other in charge of carrying it for you?
- How long is your fuse in this situation?
- Was it already lit before driving away, putting yourself in a heated car where there is little opportunity to blow the fuse out?
- Did your level of hunger decrease the length of your fuse?
- How did you sleep the night before?
- Was the fuse shortened by not having met your basic needs long before seeing your significant other?
- Had you been bickering for a few days, carrying the bomb between you two, before hitting traffic set it off?
- How long of an explosion did the bomb create?
- What happens after the bomb went off?
- How long until you feel it has been detonated by removing the fuses leading up until it went off?
At this point, you have a lot more self awareness around what is triggering your anger. You can read the leading questions from the example above and put yourself in the situation. Understand that there are often little triggers or multiple events that all combine to set off your bomb. If you still struggle to understand how to learn more effective ways to defuse your bomb and begin to improve your quality of life and relationships, see our other anger management tips or call Center for Growth for a consultation today.