Not Having An Orgasm Doesn't Mean I Am Not Enjoying It
We’ve all heard about the people who orgasm every time they have sex; sometimes,
they have multiple orgasms in one session. Unfortunately, you’re not a part of that
group. Or is it so unfortunate? Just because you’re not having an orgasm doesn’t
necessarily mean you’re not having fun and it doesn’t feel good.
There are multiple benefits to sex other than having an orgasm. The first benefit that
you may receive while having sex is satisfying your skin hunger. Your body craves
to be touched by others. The lack of touch over a long period of time can lead to high
risk of anxiety and depression. It can also affect your physical health. While you are
in bed with someone you are touching them, being caressed, snuggling- all of which
feed your body’s craving for touch.
Going along with the need for touch, sex can also give you major health benefits.
Sex is a calorie burner; on average you lose between 85-250 calories each session.
People who have sex regularly also tend to be less stressed with sounder sleep.
People who have regular sex also tend to be less prone to sickness as well as pain. If
you are already feeling pain, it tends to go away faster. Your skin will also start to
look healthier. Women have lighter periods and less cramping. This can all happen
even without having an orgasm.
Another physical benefit from nonorgasmic sex is that you are not experiencing
the dopamine “hangover” from having an orgasm. When you have orgasmic sex
your body releases hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine. Your dopamine
levels rise in anticipation of orgasm, and then once orgasm occurs your dopamine
levels plunge. If you’re not having an orgasm, your dopamine levels do not decrease
immediately. Therefore, you are experiencing those “feel good” hormones longer.
While you are touching your partner you may also be feeling closer with your
partner. You are involved in, what can be, a very intimate act. You may choose to
gaze into your partner’s eyes, align your breathing with one another, and sway your
hips in the same motion. Whatever you and your partner choose to do while having
sexual relations can bring you closer emotionally with one another. This increases
the quality of your relationship.
Your communication skills used while having sex can also help increase the quality
of your relationship. You are not focused on necessarily having an orgasm but you
are focused on what feels good. You are practicing your communication skills with
your partner not only to get your needs met, but also to meet theirs. Feeling like
your partner listens and reciprocating that skill can help to increase the closeness of
Though you may not be having an orgasm each time, your partner may be. Despite
not having an orgasm for yourself, you can take pride in giving an orgasm to your
partner and allowing them to please themselves. Revel in the way you gave them
Also, revel in your pleasure. Though you’re not having an orgasm, you’re also
probably not in pain. The act of sex still feels good to you. When he touches you
there, as she licks you here embrace the gratifying feelings that those actions can
Lastly, not having an orgasm is less pressure on both partners. There is no end goal
that you and your partner have to reach. Instead, you’re just enjoying the pleasures
in the moment; enjoy the friction between one another’s bodies. You’re not thinking
about what to do next to make sure that you reach the finish line. There is no finish