Sexnology

Posted by: Center for Growth Therapists

Everyone has heard that watching porn can increase the sexual experience between you and your partner. But with technology advancing, you can do so much more to increase your sexuality. From a simple text to a full on skype sexual encounter, there are a lot of options. In a time when many have to travel is big and long-distance relationships are prominent, technology can lend a hand in creating a satisfying sexual life between you and your partner. 

You may feel timid at first, as video chat and texting may be new to you. Remember when you had to use the phone in the middle of your dorm in college and whispered dirty things to your partner who went to school across the state? Now, you can see them or send dirty messages during a meeting. 

Technology can add to the depth of your relationship by playing on senses other than touch. Technology can tap into all of your senses. You can hear the person via telephone, you can fantasize about what your partner is doing through sexting, and you can see and hear them via video chat. If you’re long distance, you may want to borrow a piece of clothing that your partner wore so you can have the smell of them right there with you while you are using technology to enhance your relationship. 

Here are 5 ways to increase your sex life using technology. 

Sexting: 

You probably already text your partner on a daily basis talking about your day or making sure they pick up the dry cleaning. Why not use texting for sexual purposes? There is nothing hotter than being in a boring meeting at work and getting a sexy text from your partner to get you thinking about what is to come when you get home. Sending one or two “sexts” means more than just sex. You are telling your partner that you are thinking about them. You are also telling them that they have something sexual to look forward to when they get home. The sext then gets them in the mood and gets the two of you on the same page for later. Research shows that 21% of cell phone users find sexting brings them closer to their partner. 
    With every positive activity that you can do to increase your sex life, there are going to be risks. Be sure you check your state laws surrounding the legalities of sexting, paying close attention to the limitations on age. Also, use caution with what you send. Never send something that you would not feel comfortable with the world seeing. For example, if you’re going to send nude pictures do not include your face as to decrease the ability of recognizing who’s body the picture belongs to. 

Vibrating Panties: 

Romance and connection are great. Often times, couples go on dates in order to increase or maintain their connection. While some of these dating activities are nonsexual, why not add a sexual twist to it? You can still be conversing over a nice dinner or taking a nice walk along the river but using vibrating panties can add a certain level of sexual tension, which can increase the connection as well. Using vibrating panties takes trust, which can facilitate building a connection. Vibrating panties also require a certain level of communication. Is it too much? Is it too little? Asking these questions can build your communication skills your partner. Keep in mind that some places have metal detectors so choose your locations wisely. 

Snapchat: 

Snapchat is an application that you can download on your phone, for free, that allows you to send videos, pictures, and messages that only stay until you partner has viewed it. The snap then disappears. This is a fun way to have sexy conversations without the fear that others will see it if they go through your partner’s pictures, videos, or messages. You can add captions such as “Can’t wait for you to get home” or “This is what you have to look forward to!” Snapchat also offers a fun, new way of communicating with your partner outside of the usual text or email.     

Again, check your state laws in regards to the laws surrouding age limits for sexual communication. Certain applications sell to third parties. Educate yourself on where your pictures and conversations may end up, as Snapchat may not be the only company entitled to your information. Information about third party members can be found in your privacy policy in your settings. 

Sexual Apps:     

Doing a simple search within your app store on your phone of “sex” will most likely turn up thousands of results. Utilize these applications. There are fun apps that give you truth or dares, new sex positions, and fun quizzes. It may be beneficial to make up some rules before you utilize these apps such talking as about your limits and possibly how many you’re going to use in one setting. 

Video Chat: Skype/FaceTime/Viber/Tango/ooVoo    

Research shows that just seeing your partner can increase your dopamine levels and therefore make you feel happy. Using visual aides such as video chat can increase your level of happiness and also increase your ability to sexually converse when far from one another. If your partner is on a business trip or it’s just not convenient to be with one another that day, video chatting can be an opportune way to connect. Making your conversations sexual and possibly using self-masturbation while seeing and talking to one another can add a level of sexual connection. 

While the world of technology can add great benefits to your relationship, it may come with a cost, so be careful about it. Do not send something without thinking about who may be on the other end or what they could do with it if the relationship ends. Be wary of where your information can end up after you send it off into the interwebs of the world. Video chat can offer a great amount of security, in that you know where the person is. You know they’re not at the bar with their friends, you know they’re not with someone else; instead, they’re in a room chatting with you. These suggestions can increase fantasy and desire by getting helping you to get creative and increasing communication about what you want.  Using technology can also help to decrease your inhibitions and take some risks you might not do in person. You may find yourself saying something that you would have never imagined yourself saying in person. Enjoy the freedom to go beyond your comfort zone and get closer to your partner.