Working Towards Healing After a Loss

Alex Robboy, CAS, MSW, LCSW
Individual, Couples & Family Therapy
IMAGO Certified Marriage Counselor
AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Supervisor
Founder & Director of the Center for Growth Inc.

Posted by: Alex Robboy
CAS, MSW, LCSW Individual, Couples & Family Therapy IMAGO Certified Marriage Counselor AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Supervisor Founder & Director of the Center for Growth Inc.

Grief Therapy in Philadelphia - Working Towards Healing After a Loss developing a plan of action

First and foremost, acknowledge your loss. Recognize that your life, your activities, your relationship with the person, pet, or position has now changed.

Allow yourself to cry and feel angry (as long as you don’t hurt yourself or any one else). Both are part of the grieving and healing process. Try to avoid placing blame, whether it be on yourself or others.

Unfortunately, your loss is what is, and blaming won’t change it. Holding on to blame will only make you feel bad and impede your healing process.  Find a release that works for you.

Releases / working towards healing after a loss: 

* Journaling write your thoughts and feelings in a notebook. Writing, using your own emotions, thoughts, and words, is a form of release and allows you to safely express all your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
* Exercise take a walk in a different place. Notice the scenery around you as you walk. Breathe in the fresh air on your walk. Really concentrate on what you are seeing as you journey.
* Join a gym or exercise class perhaps seek enrollment in a Tai Chi class or create your own strength training exercise program at home. The point is, exercise can be excellent way to release energy.
* Look to your local book store or online for programs to choose.

Make a list and check it more than twice. Identify and note the emotions and changes you are feeling. As you write each one think about how you can change it or make it better in a positive way.

For example, loss of a job

Feeling ——-Positive Intervention
* Angry———————-Workout more, relieve tension
* Sad—————————Play with pet, take a walk, talk with others
* Lonely————————Attend a support group, talk with a professional or supportive volunteer

Nurture your spiritual health, whatever your beliefs. Seek the guidance and support of those with similar beliefs. Read and study readings that support your beliefs and practices. Develop a sense of spirituality about yourself-concentrate and form a belief system that meets your needs.

Meditation/visualization can provide a healing experience when practiced regularly. Take a few minutes each day to “quiet yourself.” Choose a quiet place in your home or outdoors, one where you can minimize distractions. Sit or lie down, close your eyes, and begin to take slow deep breaths. Concentrate only on the rhythm of your breaths-slowly in and slowly out. Clear your mind of all thoughts by choosing a key word or phrase to focus on. For example, “I am worthy. I can do anything.” As you breathe and repeat your key words/phrases, try to see the words in your mind, think about what they really mean, and begin to see yourself doing, feeling, and saying positive things (refer to your lists). Focus on your strength and abilities, and “see” yourself accomplishing healing in your life. Make a memory. If your loss is a person or pet, you can create a special memory box, scrapbook, or photo album. Include special thoughts, tributes, or mementos. Write a letter to the person or pet, expressing your feelings about them and the joy they brought to your life. Remember-you will feel better. You may always feel a sense of the loss, but with time, the severity will lessen. You will heal.

Positive Self-talk phrases: below are some phrases to help you focus and begin to heal. You may use a combination of any/all of the list or create your own. The key to healing is to try to look at each

negative and create a positive response. It will take time, but you can work through your loss.

* I have lost_________________.
* I feel_____________________.
* I will _____________________.
* I will start_________________.
* I am feeling better.
* I can _____________________.
* I will feel__________________.
* I am______________________.

Remember working towards healing after a loss takes time. With some personal interventions you can help yourself towards the path of healing after a loss. Loss hurts and it can leave you with a myriad of physical and emotional feelings. Be gentle with yourself. Your life has changed. You need to allow yourself time to adjust. Overcoming loss/change can be accomplished with time, self-help, and perhaps the guidance of a professional. Be kind to yourself, you will heal.

Struggling? Help is available. Call 267-324-9564. Center for Growth / Grief Therapy in Philadelphia / Working towards healing after a loss.